Stars on my sky disappeared that day.
Lavenders on my garden turned into the dead field.
So black and white.
Eventhough I run the thousands miles looking for something real, everything is so blur here.
So lost and cold.
I live in this wasteland, filled with drought.
I can't see anything but thorns and roots.
I never grow a flower again.
Even the darkest part of me, the part that they have come and left behind; 

my selfishness kills me over and over again for longing someone just to live in this same terrible place.
I figured it out that I didn't wanna be saved, I only needed someone to stay and feel the bleeding caused by thorns.
To be blinded with the same darkness, living undercover the sunshine.
To feel the thirst of happiness.
I know why they have gone all the way, my garden wasn't beautiful and colorful.
It was just filled with dead Lavenders.
I played with the tears and pretended to be happy.
I held on their hands too tightly, so then I broke them accidentally.

I sang them a lullaby and hope they would sleep forever in my arms.

I think I gave them the best, but what I really did was feeding them with selfish desires.

All I needed was a statue decorated with flowers, never go anywhere and still look beautiful.
I never let them taste any other floral scents, they would forget mine.
That's why I covered their noses so that they were hardly breathing and then dying.
Always something I love becomes something I lost.
I always take someone's breath away.
I kill the person I love the most because I want him to be awhole mine.
I finally figured it out that I was the one who have horrible habit.