"Accepting" huh? One word that was very close to me.

One word that is always in my mind and makes me can stop caring and worrying about everything around me.

Accepting distress, suffering, and what other peoples think about myself..

It all has to be spinning wheel that should never stop. Because from the first, i've known my role. Accepting was one of the important things to go on with that role.

When i could be just numb, smile, then saying NEVER MIND, there's nothing to worry about. Or i might be so quite when i started getting sick.

But now, i start forgetting it, it should be going on. I start rebeling.

WHY and WHY? As a human i have disgust limits.

Where i fall in dark place, boring, when i just don't even know WHAT expression i have to put on my face. Smiling? Laughing? Happy? Sick? Sad? Regretting? Which is i have to put on? What do i have to say when everything just feels uncomfortable? I DON'T KNOW.

Because i never believe in certainty, feeling that want to be forever gonna make me weak. Peaceful day will disappear, so if i just accept all, i will be fine..

Maybe i won't feel anything...