Decided to off from office. I'm resting at home now after a tough week. Finally, i can rest my body with along tight sleep. ╯﹏╰
The days before... on Wednesday, April 10th was my 3rd monthsary. But that's very terrible. Haha.. cause we got some problems about jealousy.

• FRIDAY. ( H-5 )
Yes, he was talking to me that his ex would work at his office on Monday. His friend told him like that. And he told me then, he looked fine, happy, laughing while telling that. I had no idea what I'd say and reply him, so i did the same thing, laughing. (*¯︶¯*)
I was mad inside, screwed up like shit, i was trying to be calm as i could be. I didn't wanna be jealous, i didn't wanna be jealous. Believe me, i killed myself 5 times harder at that time. Errr... i remembered all things which that old man told me, if i had to change my habits, especially about jealousy, maybe that was a right time.
We were going to watch movie, before the film started, we were playing at game center, he almost talked about his ex again and again. Crap... i needed to hold it all in and smile as usual, it wasn't a difficult thing.

Oopss.. hold on!
**Flashback to 2 nights before that Friday... okay we're going back awhile now. I forgot one thing.**
I was dreaming about his ex and my never-used-yet brown cloth. I saw her in his house after vacation from Bandung, she said.
I was mad, many questions over my head. Why he let her in or why he let her staying. He just smiled. I didn't understand. She went out and walked, i asked her if she wanted to mess our relationship up i would let her back to him, but she said NO. So i asked her why she came back, she replied, "i didn't know."
Tomorrow... we 3 decided to go to church. SHE'S wearing my brown cloth. Chill!! I have never wear that shit yet.. -_-||
**Flashback closed**

That Friday, im wearing that brown cloth and he told me about his ex. WTF!? Coincidence??  (／‵口′)／~ ╧╧
"be patient..." i told myself several times.
So we played zombies shooting until we had no coins left.
We watched movie and went home.
I told him if i wanted to broke up, but he didn't  wanna let me go.

• SATURDAY. ( H-4 )
Went to Central Park, met his friend and his friend's gf accidentally. Watched movie again. Not too much going on that day...

• SUNDAY. ( H-3 )
met up like usual.

• MONDAY. ( H-2 )
At office. I couldn't mellow myself out, thinking about his ex just at his office. Many negative thoughts ring through my head, like he was with her would be spending hours ahead together, lunch together. Errrrr... fuck it. I had to stay focus at my tasks.
My officer's friend asked me to go out having lunch. We ate meatballs. I was daydreaming while walking on the street, and almost close... i would get crashed by car, my driver took my hand. My mind just said, "fuck"
then went to Carefour buying some snacks and fruits.

• TUESDAY. ( H-1 )
couldn't concentrate at counting USD, i was counting it wrong, the payment was minus 7 millions rp. I got complained by my officer's friend. ￣︿￣
That day i drank 3 cups of coffee. One of them was black coffee,  nice taste but made my throat uncomfortable. It caused i couldn't fall asleep at night.
My mom was discussing with me and told me about my bf's ex *again*. I needed fuckin along hard time to calm myself down and now it took me up again.
So i told my mom that his ex was working at the same office with him then. I thought she wanted to chase him again, my mom told me so..
"A guy if there's a bitch who was chasing him continuously and aggressive, he wouldn't be able to resist and would be very weak."
that's TRUE!
At midnight, he didn't say happy 3rd monthsary. I wasn't even sure if he didn't remember or waited for me to say it first.

• WEDNESDAY. ( H )
still no greeting from him about our monthsary. Huuufffttt.. it's okay.
At office i fainted, maybe cause of less sleep and less eat days before. My head was spinning, tired, my eyes were swelling.
My other officer's friend asked me what happened. So i told her and cried out. *I never did that thing at office*
That's embarrassing. But i couldn't hold my tears anymore. It just flowed down.
My bf told me that he was glad he didn't get a call from his new office, cause he had decided to move from his old office before. I thought he was happy cause that time his ex was already at his old office too..
I asked him if he didn't remember what day it was. He  remembered. But he was mad so he hadn't said. What...?! I was more mad than him, but i had to act as usual. Now he was mad at me!? Pfffttt...
I was half-drunk after office hours, i was drinking 3 Half cans of beer and smooking a half cigarette.
Me and my friend at sevel, some old men looked at us strangely. And hell.. there's my ex boss sat alone not too far from us. When he walked out, passed us. I turned away my face, fortunately he didn't saw me.
My head was spinning. I wasn't drunk, but i couldn't walk straight and said all things without thinking.
At 7pm my bf picked me up, i went out from christine's house trying to act as normal as i used to be. But it didn't help, he knew it fast, touched my cheeks.

..... catch me later at next post. Haha it was too long. ;*